Showing posts with label Funnies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funnies. Show all posts

Pretty Lady Looking For Rich Guy

Pretty Lady Looking For Rich Guy
Published by Agnes Tan @ Singapore:

A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:

Artworks by Izayoi Sakuya
Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?

I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here:

I'm 25 this year. I'm very pretty, have style and good taste.

I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above. You might say that I'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York.

My requirement is not high:
Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary?
Are you all married?

I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you?

Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit. If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden, $250k annual income is not enough.

I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:

1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)

2) Which age group should I target?

3) Why most wives of the riches is only average-looking? I've met a few girls who doesn't have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys.

4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)

Ms. Pretty


AND SO, A GUY GAVE AN AWESOME REPLY...

Image of Hetalia

Dear Ms. Pretty,

I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours.

Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor.

My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here.

From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you.
The answer is very simple, so let me explain.

Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of "beauty" and "money":
Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square.

However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason.

The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can't be prettier year after year.

Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It's not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation.

If that is your only asset, your value will be much worried 10 years later.

By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a "trading position". If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same goes with the marriage that you wanted.

It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or "leased".

Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you.

I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy.

And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income. This has better chance than finding a rich fool.

Hope this reply helps.

If you are interested in "leasing" services, do contact me...

Bank CEO

Wii for Women

Wii for Women
Men, you know what you can get for your wai-fu this X'mas...

the last game looks likely to be the best-seller this year... kekeke

Demanding Shanghai Lady

Demanding Shanghai Lady
A girl in Shanghai falls in love with a new Buick Regal and argues with her boyfriend about buying it for her. He refuses, so she gets into the car in the showroom, starts it, and begins driving it around, with the boyfriend and salesman trying to stop her. She only stops when the boyfriend finally agrees to buy the car.


Q: If I were in the man's shoes, I'll dump her on the spot.

First Celebrity Swine Flu Fatality

First Celebrity Swine Flu Fatality
Special thanks to Chun Ling for the email


And we all know who past it to him...

Shanghai Sperm Bank Service

Shanghai Sperm Bank Service
via SankakuComplex:

Reportedly, the Shanghai Sperm Bank is offering white coated young ladies to assist able bodied men in the donation of their sperm.According to the report, donors are required to be in prime health and must volunteer to abstain from sex or self-gratification for four days prior to the visit. Once there, a young lady will assist carefully collecting the sperm up to three times per visit.
Payment is said to be approximately RMB200 (approx. SGD44.30) for each session, and donations can be given up to five times a month. (Yes, the Sperm Bank pays the donor...).

Fellow men kind enough to donate their children can go to the following address:
No. 145 Shan Dong Zhong Lu, Ren Ji Hospital, Building 1, 7th FL, near Fu Zhou Lu, Shanghai, China.
Sadly for aspiring donors, this news appears to be a spot of mischief on the part of Chinese forum goers...

Investigations reveals the dream shattering truth that the images came from a Japanese AV and that the facility in question explicitly denied the report, pointing out that donations are conducted in individual stalls (with no assistance) to preserve donor privacy, and so condemning thousands of men to despair...

Skin Peeling is Outdated too

Skin Peeling is Outdated too
Slightly over a year after I learnt that "Tattoo is outdated", and in comes the era of Skin Peeling... Now we have Body Inplants...
StarTrek wannabe...
Come on... Wolverine has 3 identical Titanium blades inside each of his hands... and you have only 2 different shaped rings... Fail!
Wat? Another X-Men wannabe?Please let your mum know that the surgeon left a piece of rubber band in your chest since the last boob-job...
Are those knuckle-dusters or are they condom rings?
Definitely a C-Cup... I wonder who groped the breast...
and this Star here looks a little off center...
Must be an Octopus in his previous life...Oh, and below is an example of the Skin Peeling... More of these in my previous posts here.

Teamwork

Teamwork
Image via Gelbooru:
(I couldn't find any pictures on teamwork-against a bull, so I'll settle for the Rozen Maiden team fixture up a Cow...)
This is a great team-building exercise~ brings out who you can rely on and who you can't...
Great to watch, not fun if you're participating...
(Credits goes to: Jeslyn Wong)

Human Catapult

Human Catapult
via Dannychoo and SakakuComplex; image via Gelbooru:
While some debate that this video is fake, I couldn't care less, all I know is that this is definitely a stupid idea...

Crazy Japanese Games

Crazy Japanese Games
Via SankakuComplex and Dannychoo, and special thanks to TV Tokyo:

The ever innovative, ever masochism Japanese does it again...

30 bikini babes...
throw in some kinky slippery lotion...
All lying in wait...
... Waiting for this???!
Just look at how happy the old man is!!!
.... and he paws his way through the line of bikini gals...
... and he paws and he crawls... moving forward!!!
... the game continues on...
If the series of photos doesn't convince you enough... well, watch the video footage below then (I know you wanna watch... )

Video Footage:

No Calculator?

No Calculator?
Picture via gelbooru

Here's a VERY INTERESTING way to work out a difficult multiplication question if you do not have a calculator on hand. Teachers and senseis out there might wanna check it out and show it to your students.

Worshipper or Pantsu Peeper

Worshipper or Pantsu Peeper?
Original Post via Sankaku Complex:

Seriously, I dunno how I should title this post, but following my earlier post on the "Figurine Worshipper", Sankaku provide us with this...
How far would you go for photography? Or rather, how low will you get?

Lucky Star: Akira Kogami

Lucky Star: Akira Kogami
Ok, I haven really got over Konata's Cha-la Head Cha-la~, so I thought I'd throw in the ending portion of Lucky Star episode 16.
Original picture via Darakusan's Flickr photostream:
Here, you'll see Akira Kogami, a supposedly kawaii idol in the Lucky Channel, but in fact a typical chilli-padi and maybe a little psycho... she was promised a concert by the producers, but due to little budget...

Presenting Akira Kogami, with Cape of 30 Years (Misoji Misaki):


Here's the original video:

Lucky Star

Lucky Star
If you watch anime but never watched Lucky Star before, then you're missing out on ALOT. And if you've watched Lucky Star but never continue into the ending credits, then you're missing out on even MORE. Lucky Star didn't win the "Best Slice-Of-Life 2007" and "Best Comedy 2007" awards for nothing.

Wat's with the ending credits you ask? Well, below's a 1min30secs clip of episode 5's ending - the gals were inside a KTV room... and Konata Izumi sang...
(Konata's full version here; I laughed so hard).


What Konata sang was the opening theme song of Dragonball Z; the actual voice actor (also called Seiyuu,) was Aya Hirano. Can you imagine how hard she sang?
Original Dragonball Z opening video below:
Full version here.


I love Konata~ she rocks!

Uniquely Singapore

Uniquely Singapore
(Pictures from STOMP)

If there is one thing Singapore can be famous for... beside the Durian and the LionFish (?)...

It has definately got to be this...


Very soon, you'll find tourists posing for a picture under one of the gantries... or even hordes of people taking group photos even!

Fat is Good

Fat is Good
There's something good about being fat...

Cell Phone Popcorn

Cell Phone Popcorn
Original post from Dannychoo ; picture from gelbooru:

Witness the power of radiation... or were they radiation?



Dunno how true, but as far as I am concern, there were lotsa youtube videos out there showing a lot of idiots trying out this experiment using cooked popcorns (instead of the raw kernels). Goes to show that they've entered the later stage of "cellphone induced brain-fry".

Either way, I'm gonna avoid putting my cellphone in my front pocket... its bad for my children.

Oh by the way, Cloud Strife holding that panasonic phone... unrelated picture - solely for the purpose of grabbing attention only.

Doraemon & Nobita

Doraemon & Nobita 
Original post from Dannychoo:

Children will cry...
I'd probably have a similar disgusted expression as that fella on the left...
oh this is Hong Kong by the way...

Meow~

Meow~
That's it, I'm getting a neko...
Not convinced? Watch this video then:

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